Bereavement Counselling

All of us will, unfortunately, suffer some kind of loss in our lives. Some losses we are prepared for, and some come most unexpectedly. No matter how our loss occurs, or what or who has left us, we are still bereaved, and we suffer pain.

There are many types of bereavement---the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, changes in our life circumstances, disability---each one brings with it its own pain and sorrow. These losses can change how we perceive ourselves and our surroundings.

We all grieve in different ways. Some people will grieve inwardly, others will cry incessantly; some will act as if nothing has happened, others will rage. Each individual is attempting to cope the best way she or he believes they can.

There are several stages we go through in the grieving process.

They are:

Shock - Disbelief, confusion, and the inability to fully take in what has happened is commonly the immediate response to loss. It is the mind's way of protecting itself.

Denial - The bereaved person cannot accept the loss, carrying on as if nothing has happened. Overwhelmed by reality, they may retreat away from that reality.

Anger and other intense emotions - As the initial numbness subsides, the grieving person becomes now overwhelmed by the loss. They become angry at the world, at God, at the person who has left them. They can start to feel helpless, euphoric, or hypersensitive.

Bargaining - Coming to terms with the finality of the loss, the mourner reaches a stage of thinking, "If only I'd done something", or, "If I give up smoking, will I be allowed to live?"

Depression - Hopelessness, apathy, and exhaustion can set in.

Acceptance - As time passes, the overt mourning becomes less and less. The person comes to terms with the loss and begins to heal. Sometimes the grief is too great, or the feelings of anger or reproach don't seem to abate. Sometimes the grieving person is unable to talk about the loss with those who are close to them. Sometimes the grief doesn't set in until years later, and the mourner is unprepared for this. Sometimes we just need someone to show us the way back to feeling good again.

This is where Bereavement Counselling can help. It acts as a place to help the grieving process, a safe place to show the emotions of grief, and to learn ways of coping and accepting the loss.